Thursday, July 7, 2011

Refine Me Please

I'm being refined. And my attitude lately has been one of mild irritation, frustration, and a desire to avoid people during this recent iron-sharpening process. Because I want it all to be organized & structured with succinct purpose & efficient mentoring by respectable teachers. I want a completion date. And a diploma for my efforts.

I know this is good for me. Who doesn't want to build character and be more patient and compassionate. I just want different people to do the refining. And I know that probably isn't going to happen. Very intentionally I'm sure. The ones who have been chosen to scrape away my pride, bad attitude, and impatience seem to be the kind of people I am least like. People like the following:

1. A union postal worker who has no chance of ever getting fired for gross incompetence or reckless driving.  God has used her multiple times. First was when the hot pink envelope my wonderful mom had sent me containing a Shoebox card and a check to buy a brand new Medela double-action breastpump did not arrive. I waited and checked the mailbox four times a day. For three weeks. What can I say, I was anxious to never have to squeeze the life out of my boobs with my bare hands ever again. 

Part of me wanted to approach our mail carrier and ask why whenever I was expecting a card that contained a check in it- it seemed to magically disappear. I dreamed of saying this very matter-of-factly without appearing sarcastic. I wanted to ask her why she drove over multiple neighbors' mailboxes with the mailtruck and then made them feel like it was their responsibility to fix it. 

But I didn't. I couldn't. So I did what any hormone-raging pregnant woman carrying twins who couldn't bend over or breathe comfortably did. I avoided confrontation and took my oversized self to see her boss. Mr. Postmaster himself. And two days after he "talked" to her- the hot pink envelope with adorable mother-to-be card magically appeared. All that was missing was the check. Seriously there was a slit in the side of the envelope. But I didn't care~ because my thoughtful mom had already stopped payment on it and mailed me another. This time there would be no messing around. Check number 2 came FedEx Express.

Now today, in the rain, I went to check the mail and saw that an oversized cardboard box had been shoved into my mailbox deeper than...I better not say. But even with part of it sticking out getting drenched, I struggled to pull it out. I might have even whispered a few words I shouldn't have under my breath while throwing my full weight around to yank and tug. When I finally got it out I discovered that the box contained fragile computer components. Ones that really shouldn't get squished or soaked.  I exercised self-control and didn't freak out as badly as I would have expected. Instead, I did it over the phone. Into the kind, loving ears of my supportive husband, who I called the second I got back into the house. And then I was fine. And miraculously - so was the stuff inside the box.

#2. Random people who recklessly drive thru parking lots in the wrong direction to steal parking spaces away from considerate people who have their blinkers on and have been waiting patiently for the Suburban leaving to buckle their seven kids into carseats. I'm not going to go into detail on this one. I actually think God knows that I appreciate walking farther because its good cardio, especially now that I don't belong to a gym. 

#3 People who hold the spot in line of someone who you never actually see. I'm not going to get into specifics. But I will never again wait in line for hours for a limited quantity the day after Thanksgiving. Not for anything. that I've shared a few of mine- who is being used to make you a more compassionate, understanding, patient person?